It was early. All of Caleb’s girls were still asleep. He didn’t expect either of his daughters to be up for a while, yet. Lucy had stayed up late the night before; she was becoming more and more nocturnal as she got older, which was making school difficult for her. He hoped it would settle down when she started high school. By then she’d be old enough to take the cure. Mariah’s new boyfriend, Avery, stayed the night last night. Caleb was overjoyed to see his oldest daughter so happy after everything she’d had to overcome but he’d still rather not think too hard about what went on between her and Avery in the privacy of her room at night. In any case, he expected them both to sleep in this morning.
So it was just Caleb with his cup of coffee in the quiet morning hours. But it wouldn’t stay that way for long.
He smiled when he felt his wife rest her head on his shoulder from behind and felt the soft whoosh of her yawn against his ear. “Good morning, beautiful.”
“Mmmm morning. Caffè per favore, amore mio,” Cassandra mumbled sleepily.
“Eccellente,” he complimented her Italian with an amused chuckle and poured his wife a cup of fresh coffee. “Here you go.”
“Grazie,” she sighed with relief after taking that first magical sip.
They leaned against the counter together, enjoying their coffee in easy, comfortable silence for a few moments.
Once he thought enough time had passed for the caffeine to kick in, he glanced over at Cassandra with a little smile. “So your birthday’s coming up. Turning sixty is a big milestone. I wanted to make it memorable. I was thinking we could have a big party here. With everyone. Friends, family. And Avery,” he added with raised eyebrows. “I know how you feel about him but he’s important to Mariah. I don’t want to exclude him from family functions.”
Cassandra sighed and rolled her eyes, drumming her fingers against the side of her coffee mug. “I suppose we can invite him and his daughter as a sign of good faith…” she grudgingly agreed. It wasn’t so much Avery himself that Cassandra disliked. He was always polite enough with her and Caleb when he stayed over. She just worried about her daughter dating another recovering addict. Mariah was supposed to be distancing herself from that crowd. Sure, Avery was clean right now but what if he relapsed? Mariah was likely to relapse, too, if her boyfriend began using again. She didn’t think it was a good situation for her daughter to be putting herself in.
There was something more pressing than Avery she wanted to discuss with her husband, though. Something she’d been hesitant to bring up but he’d just given her the perfect opportunity to broach the subject with him. She cleared her throat, preparing herself for a potentially difficult conversation. “A party sounds lovely, Caleb. I’d love to celebrate with all the people I love. But…”
“… But?” he prompted her with a raised eyebrow.
“I’ve been thinking, lately. About the future,” she started. “What… would you think about me taking the immortality potion?” she asked him haltingly, then held her breath.
Her husband blinked in surprise several times. He hadn’t expected her to say that. He thought she’d made her decision long ago, before they were even married. He’d come to accept the fact that he would one day have to say goodbye to Cassie. It broke his heart but he knew it was for the best. Immortality was a curse he didn’t wish on anybody. Least of all the woman he loved.
“Are you asking me that because it’s what you want or because you feel guilty about leaving people behind?” he asked her softly.
“It’s just…” Cassie sighed, trying to put a voice to her racing thoughts. “What if I’m being selfish by choosing to age naturally, Caleb? When we got married, I thought… by the time I pass on, Mariah will have established her own life. You’re a vampire; I don’t expect you to be alone for eternity after I’m gone. You’ll find someone else to share your life with one day. You’ll be okay.”
“Cass, don’t…” Caleb’s voice cracked. The idea of loving anyone after Cassie was unbearable. She was once in forever. He’d never have that again, so he treasured every moment of it now while he could.
Cassie hopped up onto the counter and motioned for her husband to do the same. When he did, she leaned her head against his shoulder. He closed his eyes, taking in the feel of her hair against his cheek, the warmth of her next to him, the way she smelled mingled with the scent of coffee. Oh, how he wished he could just freeze this moment forever…
“But we didn’t plan on having Lucy when we got married,” Cassandra continued softly. “She surprised us. And I didn’t foresee all of Mariah’s struggles even though in hindsight, I probably should have. Lucy’s so young, still, and Mariah’s still trying to piece her life back together.” When she spoke next, her voice was thick with the tears she was trying to swallow down. “I just can’t help but feel like I’m abandoning our babies…”
“That sounds like guilt, Cass,” her husband pointed out gently.
“Maybe,” his wife admitted. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m willfully choosing to leave my children without a mother. It feels so wrong.”
That war inside Caleb awoke again. There was a selfish part of him that wanted so desperately to beg her not to leave him. He was terrified of having to exist without her now that he knew what life with her was like. He was terrified of an eternity where he would never have that again. But the part that loved her unselfishly knew she deserved to have the freedom to live and die as she wanted to. He wouldn’t use guilt to chain her to his side forever. And he wouldn’t let her use guilt against herself, either.
He set his mug down and gingerly took his wife’s near-empty mug from her, too, placing it beside his. Then he gently picked her up off the counter and gathered her up into his arms.
“Cass, would you accuse anyone else of abandoning their children because they died of old age?” he asked her.
“No, of course not,” his wife answered without hesitation.
“Then why are you blaming yourself for it?”
“Because I have the option to live forever, Caleb. Not everyone has that option,” she pointed out to him. “Other mortals don’t get to choose when or how they die. But I do have that choice. If I choose to grow old and die when I have the ability not to, what does that say about me?”
“That you’re wiser than most mortals,” Caleb told her and kissed the side of her head.
She turned to him with conflicted eyes. “But–“
“Cass, listen to me. Please,” Caleb caressed the side of his wife’s face. “I know how tempting immortality can seem to someone whose time here is limited. But mortals can’t truly grasp the concept of eternity. What it actually means. It’s neverending. It’s exhausting. You have no idea how lucky you are to have the opportunity to just… be at rest when your time here is over. That’s a peace I’ll never know. Mortals have this misconception about death. They see it as some kind of final punishment, but it’s not. Death is a reward for a life well-lived. And no matter how much I wish I could spend eternity with you, I love you too much to take that away from you. You deserve that peace.”
Tears slipped down Cassandra’s cheeks as she wondered why everything her husband said was always so beautiful. “I just can’t help but feel like we didn’t have enough time…”
Caleb had to clear the emotion from his throat before he spoke, but it didn’t stop his pale blue eyes from becoming glassy with bittersweet tears. “Sweetheart, if we had an eternity together, it still wouldn’t be enough time,” he said in a throaty voice. “There’ll never be enough time for us. If you really want to take the immortality potion because it’ll make you happy, then I won’t stop you. But don’t take it to make anyone else happy, because you don’t have to worry about any of us, okay?”
“But our girls…” Cassie feebly protested.
“They’ll miss their mom… but they’ll have their dad. And their aunts and uncle. And their grandparents. And their cousins and everyone else who will ever love them in the future. They won’t be alone. Ever. I can promise you that. They’ll be okay.”
“And you?”
He gave her a bittersweet smile and touched his forehead to hers. “You’ll take a piece of me when you go that I’ll never get back… but I’ll find a new normal. I promise. I have to for our girls. And for you, so you can have your peace.”
He’d won. She trusted him to take care of their babies. She trusted that they’d be okay because her husband had promised her they would be. She never had to doubt his promises. And her soul did want peace. That’s all her weary spirit had ever wanted.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay with being married to a little old lady?” she asked him playfully, trying to cheer him up. She hated that she’d made him cry. “Hobbling around with a cane, all grey and wrinkled and unattractive.”
He smiled and kissed her.
“You’re going to be the cutest little old lady who ever lived, amore mio. And I’m going to make sure the last chapter of your life is the happiest one of them all.”
Snarky Sims 